Tuesday 11 March 2014

#ESPspotlight REVIEW: MARIAH CAREY LIGHTS UP BET EMPIRE WITH 'YOU'RE MINE' VALENTINE


Third single from the world's best selling female artist's unreleased fourteenth studio album celebrates love and loss.

Perfectly timed to coincide with Hallmark's first big pay day of the New Year; 'You're Mine (Eternal)' hits almost all the right notes with this love offering, that saw Mrs Cannon lighting up the Empire State Building on the big day in tribute.

Naysayers are harping on about the similarity to her (most recent) career-defining hit 'We Belong Together'. Whilst the likeness is immediately notable, I'm sure you've heard the song enough now to recognise, it has strong enough legs to stand apart, even if they won't quite walk her into the history books with her 19th number one crown.

I purposely held back publishing my thoughts on this one, purely because the first live performance had a noticeable impact on my initial impression, and it's entirely possible that I'm not the only one. On my first listen, the definitive 'goosies' did not appear. The much-maligned, raw BET Honors live audio told a truth that those who don't have a clue have once again failed to understand. If you think that performance was lipped then 1. You are intellectually and audibly challenged and 2. You once again make me give serious thought to teaching a class in what Mariah Carey lipsynching actually sounds like, since that is the only real means of sure-fire detection. There was an uncomfortable tinge to her vocals, which I would come to learn by the end of the day, was obviously due to the wardrobe malfunction better known as that dress (I love the woman to the end of days, but it was designed to hold big lungs or boobs, not both). Without her always gorgeous visuals to distract, I was left feeling that sense of confusion that comes, when you can't quite put your finger on what exactly is missing, from a concoction that has the potential to be explosive. You walk away to do something else, and that's when it hits you...The trojan horse that is her hypnotic hook is in your system, and in the words of the lady herself, you can't seem to give the mental repetition up.




As always Mimi asks you, the listener, to interpret the lyrics in the way that best suits your personal situation, but for the most part - it's that 'Break Up Song' that she made a mastery of, from the moment she first set fire to the billboard charts. Her vocal arrangement is simple, breathy, and dreamy. Almost lullaby-like, it made perfect sense when she announced that she chose the style in order that her two-year-old twins would be able to sing the song back to her. Rodney Jerkins' production is a step away from his typical norm; to a place that has surprised most listeners, based on online comments. Most were expecting that typical Darkchild touch, that gives an artist that one 'banger' in their catalogue that stands out from the others. Instead, his quiet, rhythmic piano-tinkling is the killer arrow in the sensual composition's bow.

Two days after the official single's release, came the first in a slew of alternates from The Remix Queen. Whilst the original was released to the masses on the 12th, the dual moment for lovers came with the 'gift' of Trey Songz, visually, and audibly. In a subsequent interview, Mariah explained that a model had originally been brought in to shoot the video treatment however, on re-evaluating, she decided that she would be doing her fans a disservice not to make Songz the star of the show. I personally would've preferred to see the ousted video honey, but hey - to each his own, many seem to have supported her meaty selection...




Now here, as far as Yours Truly is concerned, marks the point where things turn dire. Whilst MC may have gone on record declaring this her favourite version, the most polite thing that I can say about it (and all of the remixes), is "If it ain't broke..." - well you know the rest. His autotuned offering really did nothing for the recording that, as she stated in the same interview, she couldn't have done herself (only better, in my humble opinion). Mariah's painful, yearning pleas are not matched by Songz' layering. In fact, the only sentiments evoked by him, are confusion, utter disbelief, and the repeated question: 'That's what you're crying over?' At which point, all sympathies come to an abrupt end...



By the time we reach the Dance remixes, I'm afraid things only continue downhill. In the spirit of fairness, I shall give you the chance to form your own opinions before I share my thoughts. At the very least, I'll try. Let's begin with the JD x Kurd Maverick Germany to Southside Remix:









From the moment I clicked Play, it took all of 0:15 seconds for me to form what I like to call, 'The Stinkface'. I reduced the volume twice before 1:19, when a sudden headache began mimicking the base pattern, when I was forced to check the track length for how much more there was to endure.




Assuming the wind had changed; I gave up waiting for my facial muscles to relax without pharmaceutical assistance, and moved on to the Jump Smokers Remix:




Marginally better than the last; unlike the legions of fans who flocked to the video page, I still found the radio edit INTENSELY annoying. And that was before the hardened coconut skin popping noise. I mean really - what is that even about? Think back to your nursery school music class, when your instruments came in whatever form your teacher's imagination (and school budget) would allow. Now tell me that you're not hearkening back to those early days, and looking for the nearest implement that could pass for a triangle. There's a box below - I dare you.


As quickly as my joy rose at the track's end, and a reflexive 'Thank **** for that' escaped my cognitive pathways, an intense brain pain followed, as the realisation of an extended mix dawned upon me. My chin sunk to my chest, and my head shook slowly, as I mentally prepared myself for what was to follow. Swigging my beverage, wishing with all my might for alcoholic infusion at 10:40AM, I clicked the Play button on YOUR behalf.



Like it says on the tin, the only difference? It's LONGER. Much, MUCH LONGER...


As always, I'm keen to hear your favourite version (if you have one); what do you like about the song, what don't you (constructive comments only please)? Does Mariah Carey's 'You're Mine (Eternal)' make you more excited, or more anxious for May 6th, when that long-awaited album is set for release? Share your thoughts in your own spotlight - better known as the Comment Box below.


Get your preferred version of the cracking (original) single from all Independent Retailers now:


The JD x Kurd Maverick Germany to Southside Remix is unfortunately unavailable for download.

Until the next...
ES ;)

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