My Apology (I'm Saying Sorry & I Really Mean It).

To My Dear, Sweet Faithful Readers:

I owe you the sincerest of apologies - and I truly hope you will accept it.

When I relaunched this blog, I made you certain promises around the regularity of posts and what you could come to expect from me. Over the last month or so, despite my best efforts, I have failed to deliver on all of those, and I am so sorry for that.

Not that it is any excuse, but over the past month or so, I have been in hospital again (pain management rehab to be exact), and been dealing with the subsequent crushing recovery from the experience.

It has been tough to say the least, rough to degrees that are difficult to describe, but I will attempt to, because it is the least that you deserve from me.

My Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME) has been one of the worst contenders, making it difficult for me to function on a daily basis. When I recently tried to explain the condition and effects to a friend, she said: "I love sleep! Sleep is my best friend - that sounds brilliant!" I had to explain to her that it's not so great when you fall asleep within the time it takes to lift a fork/spoon from your plate to your mouth, or the time it takes you to chew a morsel of food, causing you to choke on it and endanger your life. It's not so great when in the time it takes you to move from a sitting to a standing position, you can go out like a light and endanger your safety, and even your life. You don't love sleep when you have to be watched constantly, or even fed like a baby, to prevent these things from happening. Sleep is not your 'best friend' then, and it's definitely not brilliant.

My Tremor Attacks have also been a significant problem, slowing me down and rendering me useless for the time (sometimes days) that it takes to recover from them physically. They have been nasty, and they have been numerous.

I have also been dealing with the pain and effects of Fibromyalgia; again, there are and have been far too many side effects to mention, but to label just a few, I have been suffering from joint, nerve and muscle pain which has, on several occasions, rendered me completely incapacitated.

Lastly, I have been suffering from breathing problems and chest pains in the area of my heart, where last year, an A&E doctor diagnosed that my Fibromyalgia had moved into my heart muscles. The pain from breathing has been leaving me completely breathless, dizzy, and in indescribable pain, which in turn has left me utterly debilitated.

Now I'm not going to try to pretend that all of these were new pains that I had not experienced before; but exacerbated by the stress caused by my hospital trip (to Bath, by the way), it meant that the levels experienced were, and still are, much greater than usual.

So bearing all of the above in mind, I pray that you will understand, and forgive my lack of posts recently - they were not for the want of trying. 

I am also under the deadline of a 'Secret Project', which I will be revealing via the ESintheP Facebook Page on December 16 at 10:00. Trying to prepare for this, as well as dealing with all of the above, has been no easy task at all - I promise you that! You are all more than welcome to get involved - in fact, I welcome it, please do show up, so you can find out what I've been working on, and partake in the project in your own special way.

I look forward to sharing my accomplishments, so please be there to engage with me - it wouldn't be the same without you.

Until the next...
ES